My
lonely arms wait
not
for someone else, but for you
On
the solitary balcony in a run down suburb,
I
stood with you, my entire heart
overflowing
with love, inversely
proportionate
to the deficit in our water tank
directly
proportionate to the energy it took
to
fill it up
Love
that I hadn't known, that which wasn't
felt
before, love that was mine to keep for
however
long I need
And
that freedom is enticing, that power is
glorious
till the moment you can see love
exist
right before you
but
love, like life, is no thing really
It
doesn't exist without the other,
it
doesn't have a body or form
it
is, like life, a certain organisation of molecules,
letting
your brain function in a particular direction
by exerting forces inside the body
Love,
like life, is an emergent property
And so it doesn't show up while you're at
the
same wineshop buying whiskey
for
four days straight,
it
doesn't call on you when you're flushing down
Biryani
with Sprite in the family section of
Hotel
Hyderabad
heck,
it doesn't even knock at your heart
when
you're in someone else's bed
after
a dinner of peanuts and alcohol
trying
to find your release and fall
Love only emerges from something,
and
don't ask me what, I have learnt nothing
but
I speculate that in the deeps of
my
heart, and yours,
we
knew what was emerging
how
the molecules inside were
forming
a bond,
a
bond that may be an intensely tight one,
a
double helix that was held together
by
something other than hydrogen,
a
bond that could perhaps emerge out of
what
Neitzsche had called the will to power
and
the will to power can only emerge
alongside
the will to know
Love, my dear, maybe only what we know
It
is what we know happened when the molecules
formed
the bonds tightly held,
not
between us like an invisible string
but
inside you, inside me,
separately.
